5 fanmade games that will ruin pokemon for you
Climate change has devastated the planet, Pokemon are on the verge of extinction, and some have been genetically modified into weapons of mass destruction. Don't make me do this again. Turns out the guy who wrote about how fun it is to ride and sing some sleigh song also wrote Confederate anthems. You execute many of the trainers you defeat, and the game is billed as having a body count "unprecedented in any Pokemon hack," which is apparently supposed to be a plus.
But it would also be an impressive technical achievement to edit Pikachu into the background of Blade Runner, and that wouldn't make it any less stupid to hear a cute yellow rabbit cry "Pika! Most Pokemon fans would scoff at, or run screaming from, Psychic Adventure. But the concept is just And to explain that, go ahead and imagine what the backlash would be like if a woman released a Pokemon game in which all the Pokemon were shirtless dudes with prominent crotch bulges and everyone talked about how cute they were to oppress.
5 fanmade games that will ruin pokemon for you
Then your rival immediately shows up to mock the suicide, which is the logical next step from the old rival catchphrase of "Smell ya later! When you're done, the women wake up with no idea of what's happened, at least until they start to put the pieces together and you become the subject of Kanto's most popular true crime podcast. Pokemon fans who have been around since the original games are now old enough to see articles scolding them for not saving more for their retirement.
By the time you're doing battle with Pestilence, the whole affair feels like a bizarre fever dream. Even the world's criminals resist using the foot-tall serpents they carry around in their pockets to smash open the walls of banks and devour the security guards.
After you get done killing criminals by electrocuting them, setting them on fire, impaling them, cutting them apart, chopping their testicles off, and torturing them, society will magically be fixed! It's even, like all great Pokemon games, inspired by Kill Bill. And a murderous revenge fantasy! You can even level up your Pokemon to take your sexual assaults further, in a classic example of a gameplay loop. Zombies have infested nearly every pop culture franchise, from Red Dead Redemption to freaking Archie. Take every joke you've ever heard about Pokemon being dogfighting, or slavery, or animal cruelty, and apply it to people.
Reborn is ambitious and, to the credit of its creators, an impressive technical achievement. It's both a laughable and a worrying look into the fact that if we had Pokemon in reality, we would also need a whole host of specialized police units.
Pokemon characters grown up looking like like real adults
City streets fest like alleys with disaster and crime. You travel from town to town and disrupt sex trafficking rings, meth labs, and vague criminal schemes. And this intense drama is all unfolding in the bright and colorful world of Pokemon, a franchise where you beat the shit out of other people's pets with your own pets and all they can do is tell you how great you are for it.
Incredibly repulsive premise aside, the game's pixelated nude sprites and "Holy shit, you're taking a girl's bra off, dude! Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. Continue Reading Below Advertisement. We're dealing with climate change and terrorism now, and society continues to march on as people go about their day, doing good things to counteract the bad.
Reborn is set in a city called, uh, Reborn City, described by its creators as a place where "Black smog and acidic water garnish the crumbling structures along the skyline.
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You're given a Drowzee, a psychic-type Pokemon that knows the moves Sleep and Hypnosis, and then, well It's still your goal to travel the world and become the greatest trainer in the land. It's just that you can also, upon defeating a gym leader, put them to sleep and molest them, or turn them into a hypnotized sex slave. Yes, you've subverted expectations, but what exactly have you proved? It's nice of the zombies to engage you in a Pokemon battle before attempting to gnaw your skull open, but that also goes to adult how awkward it is to force zombies into the Pokemon world.
Psychic Adventure was created by an ostensible adult, but the sex scenes read like they were written by a teenager who insists that yes, he's totally had sex, and is in fact so awesome at it that the scene where you pleasure eight women at once was inspired by his real-life exploits. Then other girls hit on you, because you're so hot and adult Within three minutes of the title screen, you're about to be raped, but then a ghost Pokemon comes to your rescue and kills your slaver. If Detective Pikachu isn't satisfying their need to take their old hobby in strange new directions, there are some some dedicated fans and creators out there eager to help.
Having everyone in a ly lighthearted fantasy world be either miserable or cruel is like writing a story about Dora the Explorer becoming a serial killer. So this is a game about capturing a collection of human women, and maybe occasionally letting them out of their magical prisons for a breath of fresh air.
But others want to see a serious prestige drama version applied to the goofy Pokemon world. The further you get into Snakewood, the more it reinforces how misguided its premise is, because with every decapitation, you desperately want to catch a cuddly Jigglypuff just to end the monotony. But the metropolis stands, a decaying blemish on the once-vibrant region.
Here's a five-year, forum discussion about its many nuances. Many of them retain various monstrous traits, but version worry, they all have tits! And drugs! Confirm Password. That last part pokemon actually been a plot in the series beforebut at least in Pokemon Platinum you could save our dimension and then not have to worry about dealing with, like, a dozen hostage situations. Follow us on Facebook. It's all very "serious," but serious in the sense pokemon "True Art must be relentlessly bleak and dour, just like we think reality is literally all the time.
The games do have some dark moments and clever urban legends.
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It only took a decade and change, but the Gang is finally changing their approach to tackling tricky topics. You know, adult stuff! It would also have crime! It's difficult, to put it mildly, to get emotionally invested in a story where what's supposed to be a scary biker gang rolls up and threatens to rape you, and to make good on this threat, they send adorable birds and caterpillars to battle the ghost you order around.
It turns out there's a vibrant scene of fanmade Pokemon games that allow players to explore new regions, catch clever new monsters, and occasionally do sex crimes. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet. The MCU's best weapon is sass. Moemon is identical to Pokemon FireRed save one subtle difference. Reborn sports more characters and plot twists than Game Of Thrones.
The creator of Pokemon Korosu is no exception, because they knew that a truly mature Pokemon game wouldn't merely have endless sex.
Every encounter is like if Jason Vorhees busted down your door, threw your best friend's head at your feet, and then politely challenged you to a game of chess. The game is billed as cute and innocent and wholesome, and it's not like the people who are playing it actually intend to capture real women, if only because they lack the requisite upper body strength.
A suspect is immediately arrested, then tortured by the police with the aid of their Pokemon, because this is a serious world where serious things happen. But Pokemon Psychic Adventure boldly asks the question that the cowards at Nintendo will not: What if the player was the horrific asshole that Pokemon has long lacked? At least they all keep their clothes on and the player can't do anything inappropriate to them Well, great.
Meanwhile, people write things like "While commonly accepted by the fanbase as one of the sexiest Pokemon I guess what I'm saying is that this game accidentally has more social commentary than the one with all the torture. Any "gritty" Pokemon crime drama should realistically end with a brutal criminal, frustrated over losing a fair and structured monster duel, whipping out a gun and shooting you in the face.
Instead of making a single cohesive Pokemon horror game, they somehow made every Pokemon horror game at once. Then it's a lighthearted revision of Pokemon for people who want to have sex with quasi-sentient animals but don't want that to be too weird. And thanks to Snakewoodwe now know what the zombie apocalypse would look like if it came to Pokemon.
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Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book. And as a super mature story for smart adults, it starts with gangsters murdering the parents of the teenage heroine, kidnapping her, and selling her into sex slavery. And there are no consequences.
But in a classic example of "If less is more, think how much more more would be," there isn't just the zombie apocalypse, but also a demon invasion, murder, drunkenness, human sacrifice, an inquisition, suicide, and the literal Four Horsemen. Can you spot it? By the time you've fought your th Pokemon that's a bird, but like, with blood and guts on it, the novelty has long worn off. Yes, this is a game in which all the Pokemon are anime girls.
Anyway, here's a an evil Magmortar throwing a Medicham into a volcano:. For some of those original fans I mentioned earlier, the games still serve as escapism, something fun to dabble in as a break from dreary adulthood. There are doomsday cults, child abuse, drugs, prostitution, profanity, brainwashing, terminal illnesses, and evil doctors.
Pokemon is telling darker stories to reach its maturing fans, just not in games
People who are all, in a staggering coincidence, petite young women. That is, stupid.
It's not inherently weird to make Pokemon scary. Very, very stupid. Game on. Hey, you can even buy some human women from Team Rocket, who I guess are just slave traders now. Throughout all of this, you have to stop a bunch of evildoers from somehow making the dyspokeia worse with their plan to reshape the Universe by manipulating a PokeGod. As a family friendly franchise, Pokemon has long glossed over the fact that any kind of dispute would certainly go awry if one or both parties had immediate access to slavishly obedient dragons. Which is how you end up with Pokemon Reborna game about collecting cartoon monsters that opens with terrorists blowing up a train.